Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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