He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
