i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
And then he peed in my hair
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
