Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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