if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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