omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
