Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
no. you can't hotbox the world.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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