i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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