I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
