She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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