So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
