I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
