So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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