Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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