Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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