first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
