You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
