So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
