those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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