put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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