i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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