I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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