Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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