Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
