first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
