I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
