yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
