Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
