can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
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you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
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It was like giving head to a cactus.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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