grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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