just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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