Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
