so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
