The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
