The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
