Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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