So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize