Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm really busy with my period
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