I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
