So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
