Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
