you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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