Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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