I molested 6 butterflies tonight
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
