Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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