dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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