My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
that may or may not have been my penis.
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