dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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