I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
