STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
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