your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
