Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
