# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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