dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Randomize
