I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
If that was your dad, he is hot
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
